Me. At least after what I've been through.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize