i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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