I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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