we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's rum buckets o'clock
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
