I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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