Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
