Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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