Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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