sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
