So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
