I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize