I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
