Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
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Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize