My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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