We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
