Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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