Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
