I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize