the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
