My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
