he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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