she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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