I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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