it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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