Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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