Soap is not a condiment
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
