Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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