happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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