Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
