Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
