I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
