I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
