how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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