I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
In America we eat man semen.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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