i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
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I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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