dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
