Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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