Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize