We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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