at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my phone needs a breathalizer
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
