Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
