what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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