ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
