Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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