you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
