I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
