This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
