i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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