i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
