you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
