you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
