Acid is not a monday night drug
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
