1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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