Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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