I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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