Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
