I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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