I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
