okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
